Kirsty Logan Photography

Life after MA

After getting my results in May I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’d hoped to get a better grade that I did and whilst it wasn’t that far off I kept questioning if I could have done anything better.

This led to me not picking up my camera and not having the motivation to make any new work.

Then I had the Graduation Day which was incredibly emotional, and I was incredibly proud to have even gotten this far, but somehow I still felt like I didn’t belong, I had a serious case of imposter syndrome. That everyone else that was on the course with me somehow had more right to be there than I did as they got a better grade than I had.

The fact that I had gotten a new job on the back of gaining my Masters, which in fact does have the need for photography and also videography and retouching and editing would be a very important part of my role – I still don’t think it made me feel any less of a fake.

So I decided to go back to basics, I started completing the camera school tasks in the monthly magazine I get, but in an even bigger statement I decided to go back to basics and go back to BTEC HNC Photography and relearn my craft.

I still have the desire to apply for PhD to investigate the links between mental health and creative outlets such as photography. I feel like this is something that I really need to explore further.

Project Presentation: Pop Up Exhibition at Advanced Electronics – 14th March 2019

For one of the public outcomes of my Final Major Project I held a pop up exhibition at my place of work.

My employers are currently going through a process of trying to change some of the culture habits that we have developed as a company and introduce some well being policies to assist colleagues through difficult times. With this in mind I discussed my project with some of the Senior Management Team and we decided it would be really useful to have my work open for others to see.

As someone who suffers with anxiety this was a very big personal challenge not only to speak in public but also to share the personal challenges that I have experienced over the last couple of years and explored very deeply through my project.

At the Face to Face event in Falmouth there were a couple of concerns over the display of the diary entries. There was a suggestion to have them recorded so that they could be listened to while the audience viewed – I tried this but some of the entries were still quite raw to me and I wouldn’t get them recorded in a way that would have allowed the audience to understand them as it was very emotional.

What I did decide to do was to have the sound of the lapping waves in the background, and as this was something that soothed me while creating the work did act as a comfort as I delivered my presentation.

These are some photos of how I set up the exhibition. I also have the video of my presentation.

I had some feedback forms at the end, which whilst I hoped people would enjoy the work – I don’t think I ever imaged that it would actually spark a conversation, that others would actually find the work helpful, that it made them feel better that they weren’t alone. I found this emotional, a little overwhelming – but it also helped me with the knowledge that the struggles that I have had could actually help other people to deal with their situations.

The outcome of this pop up exhibitions was really positive and I have been asked to show it again so that more people can benefit from the experience.

This experience has made me also want to share this work further – I am looking at venues again as it has given me the confidence boost to be able to do this.

Final Major Project: Critical Review Day, Falmouth F2F, 8th March 2019

On the final day of activities before the Symposium, we all come together for critical review day. I went all out and booked in for 4 mainly with tutors I had already worked with either on FMP or any other the other modules.

Wendy and Stella:

It was this review where one of the images that I wasn’t sure of where it fit was removed from the selection and I carried this decision on through the rest of the day.

Whilst I really like this image as it feels to me exactly how both my mental illness and my physical disease have affected me socially, I understand that it does not fit with the rest of my images. It also means I have an even number of 16 in my final project after its removal.

It was also suggested that I remove the titles and also the boarders and if I can change my mount board to black.

In terms of my diary entries I could consider a handout or a zine.

Jesse and Cemre:

Again they agreed that the titles are not needed.

I need to consider how I use my diary entries – I should perhaps try the Sophie Calle – Hotel Room layout.

Watch Velvet Buzzsaw on Netflox

I should perhaps shorten some of my diary entries and simplify them.

Look at the work of Hamish Fulton
https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-follow-the-footsteps-of-hamish-fulton-in-walking-artist-his-new-york-solo-show
http://www.source.ie/archive/issue97/is97editorial.php

I also did a google search on walking artists and will research these also

I will also research:
http://www.walkingartistsnetwork.org/

Read the book: The Synthesis of Photography and Text in Contemporary Art

Consider printing on Aluminium or Selenium prints.

Paul and Karen:

Agreed with many on the comments above.

Consider Audio at my exhibition – me reading out my diary entries.

Open Skies – Don McCullin

Steph and Michelle:

Look at Sam Taylor-Johnson – 5 revolutionary seconds

Observance – Nicola Dove.
http://www.nicoladove.com/projects/observance/

The links of these are to show movement with imagery and also Dove uses audio in this project.

Final Major Project: Gallery Visit, 2nd March 2019

Small Town Inertia: JA Mortram

Side Gallery, Newcastle upon Tyne.

I attended the Side Gallery in Newcastle to see the Small Town Inertia Exhibition.

Whilst I had read a great deal about this project prior to the visit I did not expect the impact the imagery and word would have upon me.

I have never attended an exhibition where I have been emotionally affected so much, there were occasions where I was on the verge of tears.

It is perhaps because Mortram really explains through both the words and the imagery very effectively what his subjects are going through, and how they are affected by society both physically and emotionally.

This was a very important exhibition for me to see especially as it is my plan to have words accompanying my imagery to give context to my work.

Each of my images will have a diary entry which addresses not only my struggles with mental health during my journey to my physical diagnosis with Rheumatoid Arthritis but also addresses the struggles that come along with having an invisible disease. Whilst you look OK on the outside no one knows what any individual is going through on the inside.

I feel that by going to see this exhibition I have a clearer view of what I need to do for the public outcome of my FMP.

Final Major Project: Project Development, 22nd February 2019

I’m preparing to get my images professionally printed a digital lab, I really am getting the feel for them. I can see where the images are expressing themselves and also me, I can feel the different feelings in the water and where it is trying to show my glimmers of hope and where the light is trying to show me the way.

It is also very interesting to see how the images are fitting with my diary entries. I haven’t finalised how I am going to show them just yet.

I’m not sure if it is just my subject matter but getting myself outdoors to obtain the images is helping to improve my mood and it is starting to give me purpose again.

I have been carefully researching what I need to advise people in terms of holding my workshop. I want to make it very clear that it is not a medically endorsed workshop I cannot give professional advice and what we will be doing and talking about is not a miracle cure and professional advice should be thought if you are contemplating suicide or have low mood.

When looking at some of the images as I’m preparing for print I am brought back to Mark Rothko especially on the seascape images where there are blocks of colour. The water pattern work also reminds me of Man Ray’s patterns in the dust that were featured in the David Campney Exhibition – A Handful of Dust.

I am keen that my audience understand how the water reflects my emotions and feel this can only be supported from opening a dialogue with me and reading my diary entries.

Final Major Project: Development Photo shoot, 18th February 2019

Location: Blyth Beach

Intent: I knew this was going to be the final shot of my project. We were due a super moon and I had the visual in my head that there would be a breakthrough image – The super moon reflecting onto the sea. It would be representative of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Equipment: Nikon D3300, Tamron 70-300mm with Macro, Tripod, iPhone

Methodology: I spent a good few weeks studying the timings of the super moon, along with fitting this around my work schedule, and also the weather reports. The full affect of the super moon was to be the 19th February, but the weather was not looking to be working with me so I decided to go and get the test shots so I could make sure my equipment and set up was correct. As it turned out, although my lens was the right one for the whole of the project – every single image taken with the same set up – it was not the right one for the night time shoot – I needed to have had a wider angle. That was one lesson learnt! So I took out my trusty iPhone, and took some shots so that I could see the basic set up. So that if the shot worked I can come back the next day with the correct set up for the real event.

Images:

Kirsty Logan, 2019
Kirsty Logan, 2019
Kirsty Logan, 2019
Kirsty Logan, 2019
Kirsty Logan, 2019
Kirsty Logan, 2019

Research: For this shoot I did reading around night time shooting as I knew that this was something that I had never done before so it would be a new challenge to me.

Reflection on the shoot: This was always destined to be the shoot that I struggled the most with. As I had no prior experience of night time shooting. I am really glad that I carried out the research into the moon, and how to shoot at night, although I didn’t get my initial set up right. The saving grace is that I did check the weather and take my iPhone as on the 19th the weather clouded over and we saw nothing of the actual super moon, and I learnt a very valuable lesson of doing your research. What did make me happy though is in my test shot and I do understand that some won’t be happy that I have an iPhone image in my final collection, but I got the shot that I wanted the one I had envisaged and it did feel that on the computer screen, my collection of images for this project was now complete. I did have a level of anxiety as I didn’t predict how spooky the beach is in the pitch black!!! Although I did take a assistant to help me. On a personal level also, I was starting to feel better in myself, which means that my mindful photography journey had helped me, it had been therapeutic, and I was starting to enjoy it again.

References: Teach Yourself Astro Photography magazine

Final Major Project: Venue Visit, 16th February

Spanish City Visit

I went to visit a location for my workshop/exhibition and this was at the newly refurbished Spanish City in Whitley Bay

The room I was hoping to use was right at the front of the building overlooking the sea – which would have been perfect.

A major drawback to the space was that I would not have been able to mount anything to the walls at all. Although I had planned to use large sketchbooks so that my diary entried could be mounted along side like a giant diary – i think this venue would be extremely limiting and they kept changing the times of the room.

Whilst the view from this room is perfect I don’t feel it is the right place for my work.

Final Major Project – Project Development Research – 15th February 2019

Susan Derges

There are several of Derges’ work that I have been able to connect with.

Shoreline – 1997-98
Waterfall – 1998
Ice – 1996-97
Atlantic Ocean – 1997
River Taw – 1996-98

In the period 1996 – 1998 much of the work appears to be focused on water in some form or another. Whereas Horn and Sugimoto focus on the top of the water Derges work is under the water looking up.

I think this is appealing to my work as sometime you can feel like you are drowning, that you cannot survive, like you won’t ever make it to the surface, and i think it might look like this to an individual under the water.

Whilst I don’t think that this is the intention of the work, to present itself in this way, it is certainly the way that I can link this into my thinking of my project.

Particularly the work with the ice, it looks to me like the light at the end of the tunnel and quite often this is the the hope that will eventuallly lead you our to the light to draw you out of the depths and show you the way to find your way back.

This is one of the reasons that I hope to be able to capture a moonlight image so that on the surface I have a metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel image.

Final Major Project – 1:2:1 Tutorial with Wendy McMurdo – 12th February 2019

Summary:

I need to consider a voice over and whether I feel his would be successful if I brought it into my work.

Have a look as some of the CRJ’s from North Utshire.

Confirmation that the black and white images are the ones to go with.

What I need to do:

Research Bobby Baker

Sophie Calle – Take Care of Yourself and The First Time – on websire FlashArt online

Links to my website – These can be linked into the FMP document.

CRoP – Research people who use the walk particularly in reference to photography. Look at the stigmatisation of mental health

Write 300 words of what my project is about and keep reviewing this.

Research:

Fay Godwin
Gem Southern
Jesse Alexander – Place and Perspective
Crystal le Bas
Nan Golding
Sophie Calle